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  • Self Harm

    Self-harm occurs when someone deliberately injures themselves, usually as a result of depression or low self esteem. Read more →

    Hi iv had an ingrown nail problem for a year now and it as very swollen/painful and has been infected on and off but iv seen a podiatrist twice but they say they have a 8 week wait list so I've been cutting and cutting every time it gets to painful too walk but never gets better. What do i do? ;(





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    I have been leaking urine since the birth of my first child, she is over thirty now. I had a calpo suspension about 15 years ago but it didnt work. I had vaginal tape about five years ago and it worked for about three years but now im leaking more than ever. I went to the hospital today and the uroligist suggested cutting off the sphincter completely and using a catheter. Or cutting off the sphincter and having a pump implanted so that I use the pump to wee. This is very life changing, I am 56 and feel that this is too young to be using these methods to wee. Are there any other options at all? W ould an electronic exerciser help or is too late to do any good? I have been on my own for years now because of this problem. I am too embarassed to have a sexual relationship due to my very slack vaginal muscles. Also having to wear a thick sanitary towel all the time, I am excrutiatingly embarassed. Is there any help or advice you can give me?





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    If possible rather have/gain more medical opinions from other doctors/urologists before going through with such a radical life changing procedure. I know of people who has had other procedures done. Permitting you have medical aid/-insurance that cover all costs or if costs and/or finances are not much of a factor there definitely are other procedures from the one you have described this urologist wants to do or suggests to do.

    Hi I'm 15 on my penis when I pull back my forskin it is like a cutting pain I'm a virgin so it's not a sti PLEASE HELP





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    Hi I'm 14 and I've been cutting myself for quite a while now but I want to stop. I feel hopeless and as if the is no way out. I wish I could tell my mum but I'm terrified of upsetting her or what she's going to say or think. Does anyone have any ideas of how I should approach this subject with her or any support? Thanks.





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    it's a tough situation to be in babe. your mother will be proud that you were brave enough to step up and care enough about yourself enough to ask for help- she will not be mad but there is no way of not upsetting her- it's an upsetting situation. i would just sit her down and tell her that there is something you need to tell her and then be honest. there is no "easy" way to tell someone that you self-harm. be strong babe

    I know this sound CRAZY but just tell her pure and simple if your open and honest you will say exactly what you want to say instead of sugar coating it. it will be a VERY difficult conversation to have so make sure you feel mentally prepared before you aproach the subject because once you told her you cant untell her.

    hey, im 19 my pointer fingernail on my right hand curls downwards at the tip when i grow it and at a certain length it begins to become uncomfortable and yet all my other fingers are fine does anyone know what i should do (besides cutting them)





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    I have the exact same issue on several of my fingers on both hands would be grateful for any answers! I have several conditions that I wonder if this May be connected to?

    All I know is that my nails curve to the edge of my toes. People on the Internet ( mostly on medical sites) say this is because of often putting pressure on my toes. Kinda like wearing shoes a bit to small at the toe part and your nails being smushed against the curve .i often wear sneakers a lot and the way I stand my toes are always being pushed against the edge. Hope this info could help someway!

    im 15 years old and i have been cutting for about 9/10 months all started off when my dad took ill and allmost died then i was bullyed and it all got too much now im lleft with horrible scars. i know that i have been stuped to do this and that but i hate the look of them.





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    im 31 yrs old and when i have sex with my partner it hurts,over the last few weeks i keep cutting the inside of my penis and recently noticed during fore play i dont get wet and started using k-y jelly to help





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    Im 15 and ive had verrucas for 7 years now. Me and mum have tried everything we possibly can, which even involved cutting them out until I bled but they still haven't vanished. I have been to the doctors a number of times and they just continue to give me liquids that are not working. What else can I do?





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    I also had verrucas on the sole of one foot, on the 'ball' area, for about 7 years. I tried several treatments and gave up after each attempt. Treatments such as freezing, duct-taping, tea oil and salicylic acid were tried, but I ended up with a cluster of about 6 verrucas. Then I read an article online which changed my approach. I tried a new version of the salicylic acid solution which also contains lactic acid. It involved applying the solution every day building up layers, without removing the previous layer, forming scabs. Even when I had a shower or a bath, I left the scabs in place. The verrucas went black, and after a week or so, I removed the black scab, and washed the area. I then left things like that for about 7-10 days to allow recovery. I then repeated the treatment with salicylic-lactic acid solution. After about 3 months of repeated treatments, my verrucas started to disappear, much to my amazement and relief. It worked! After another 3 months my foot returned to normal.

    Have you seen a podiatrist? I know many GP's have treatments available but success rates will vary widely. If you plot a graph 'likelihood of success' on one axis and 'potential hazards of treatment' on the other you will find there is a close match. Treatments you can get over the counter are not particularly hazardous or dangerous, which is why you can buy them. The more potentially hazardous treatments have far higher success rates, generally, but require a great deal of specialist training in order to get good success and few problems. As a quick summary you have strong acids (salacylic acid at 70% concentration is arguably the most effective - not generally painful), freezing (usually always painful to a greater or lesser degree), electrosurgery (one-off treatment, can be expensive privately, not always performed by NHS services), laser (varying levels of pain or not depending on type of laser but varying degrees of success), dry needling (fashionable, not well researched and with varying results), everything else. Try considering some of these options.

    IBS is heredetry in my family and i have had it since i was born. Some months it is better than others some worse but it is constantly there. i have tried reducing the sysmtoms by using meds, cutting out whole food groups even lifestyle changes but nothing. Is there anything out there i haven't tried or anything that could help, id even be willing to go for surgery if there was something which could help. it is really that bad.





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    Hi. I've had two verrucas on my foot now for over three years. They are such a pain to get rid of. I've tried everything from freezing to gel to duct tape to cutting them out and nothing is working. I need to get rid of them as I find them so embarrassing. They are interfering with my life and I've had enough. If anyone could help I would be extremely grateful. Thanks. Stacey





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    Hi, I have been to the doctors and have been told i have a verruca, but it gets very painfull and keeps growing back. it gets so painful that sometimes it hurts to walk. I have used various creams and lotions with a foot scraper and nothing has happened. I end up using a blade and cutting it out which helps and i can end up cutting quite a deep hole in my foot, I have been told that me doing this is fine and its maintaining it. And that one day it may dissapear. I have had this for about 10 years and end up cutting a hole in my foot about once a month. Is this ok. Is the doctor right in what he is saying. Is there anything else I can do about it?





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    Last year I started cutting myself I got really down and considered leaving, I knew this was wrong and started to feel angry at my self which made me self harm more. .. I got my friend and told her I was down and needed to speak to someone I didnt go into detail as to why I needed to talk to someone but she brought me to the pastoral center in my school where I started talkin to amale councillor he was amazing! I stopped cutting and he talked me through my problems and thought me how to deal with them this September he was let go from my school and from not seeing him I have spiraled down and started cutting all over again. ... I have tried 2 other councillors but they just don't work like he did I don't know what to do and I feel like im running out of options again :/





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    Why don't you try talking to your friend and telling her how you feel. If you talk to her then she might be able to help you by talking you through your problems. I self harm as well and I have told my best friend and she has been so supportive. Hope this help

    Try cutting out gluten. If that doesn't help try cutting out other foods to see what helps. You could have a food allergy. Try an enema or suppositories; those help some. If those don't help, try getting colonics(uncomfortable to get done but it helps immensely!) try working out to help things move (yoga is my fav) and make sure ur getting Enough fruits, veggies, water and fiber. Also u can try psyllium husk or chia seeds! They help a lot too!

    I am 15 and I have been self harming since I was 11. I was originally referred to the CAMHS unit at the hospital, but that didnt seem to help. At first, It was just cuts with a pin and they barely bled at all, but recently, i've been cutting really deep. It takes ages for the bleeding to stop and it leaves huge scars. It's just like an addiction and I really dont know how to stop. Its talking over my life. The cutting is getting deeper and more frequent. I know I need help, but I don't know who to turn to.





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    My kids have both wet the bed intermittently since they were very small. My oldest is now 17 and hopefully going to university next year so potentially awkward for him as he still wets the bed once or twice a week when he's really tired. We found that cutting out any dairy products in the later part of the day really helps, also don't drink anything except water after mid-afternoon (no fizzy drinks, coffee etc.). He also uses desmopressin on prescription if he's staying over somewhere or we're on holiday, but not as an everday thing, we just deal with the washing! Do try cutting out dairy though.





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    I feel really bad now because I told a friend I cut and she told me she has thought about cutting before and then a couple weeks later she told me she started cutting herself.............................. Shes a really awesome person too. Shes really helping me get through this. The next week she missed school one day and I was SO scared I thought she might've killed herself

    hi my name is Baylee I am almost 14 I've been cutting since the end of September I have talked to a councelor and she encourages me to tell my parents but I just can't it would be to akward and scary I don't want to see their reaction the reason I cut is because I have very low self esteem I can't concentrate at school my grades are going down and I take everything out on myself and its addicting I tried stopping in December and that lasted about 2 weeks but I got mad one night and started cutting again :/ my best friend said if I started to cutagain she is telling my parents :'( I want my teacher to notice by himself because I trust him but I have no guts to tell him or show him please HELP!





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    Hi Baylee! I'm 20 years old and have been self harming for eight years. I started for more or less the same reasons. I didn't have a good home life, i was bullied at school, i had and still have body dis morphia. I cannot offer you a solution to your problem, but only let you know that you're not the only one who feels like this. Its good that you've spoken to a counselor, I didn't do that for years. Its good that you're admitting you know its not right and that you need help. I am also aware that most schools do not help with the situation. They have to tell your parents and it can exacerbate the situation. In my school, i saw a girl admit to a teacher that she self harmed and they called her mom in immediately. They all totally over reacted and didn't understand. Unfortunately, teachers are obliged to tell their superiors and then they decide what to do from there. BUT, if you think telling your teacher, and having your teacher talk to your parents for you or at least accompany you in a meeting would be easier, then i think that's a very good idea, you won't feel so alone and you're parents will remain a lot calmer. But, unfortunately the teacher simply will not be able to keep it to themselves. I also think at your age, your doctor would probably tell your parents if they felt your life was in danger. I used to cut 3 - 4 times a day...often at school with anything i could get hold of. I started on my arms, and then moved on to my sides, and my legs. My mother either didnt notice, or didnt want to see them. My parents would not have understood. I understand that you don't want people to treat you differently once you tell them. I was so worried people were going to start treading on eggshells around me and talking to me like i was crazy. Recently, whilst living in halls of residence at uni, i cut myself very deep and almost died. It was at this point that it shocked me into hardly doing it anymore. I still do it when im incredibly stressed, but it is few and far between. BUT i will say that i totally regret not telling my parents. I feel if i told them now, after so many years of lying and covering up it would create a lot of animosity. So the sooner you can tell them the better I'd say. I know that at some point, my mom or dad will see my scars and they will confront me about it. Every day I have to plan my outfits to help conceal them. When i go on holiday i can't wear a bathing costume, if its hot, i have to wear long sleeves...Im dreading the day they see them. I really don't want you to get into that sort of situation! If i could have told them, I think they might have helped me or made a conscious effort to improve my home life or help me out with my school work. I have realised as i have grown up and witnessed many families in the same situation that parents tend to go through a process when they find out their children are self harming. They go through anger, that you are destroying your body, shock, that you could do something so drastic, question WHY you couldn't tell them and guilt. But, they will calm down. They will listen. And they will understand eventually. If you can ride it out, then I think you'd be better off telling them. I also have no doubt that they'd be incredibly proud that you were brave enough to tell them. My dad is really hot headed so I he would probably call me stupid and an idiot, as he has no concept of depression or self harm. But, I know that really it would be out of shock than real anger. But, i understand the difficulties of doing so, and of course telling them won't necessarily stop you doing it. On a lighter note, Its brilliant that you lasted 2 weeks! I don't care about all the alternatives people give such as snapping elastic bands on your skin, drawing red lines on you and holding ice on you until it hurts, its not the same. So two weeks is fantastic. As a cutter, who has seriously decreased the amount i do it, I would advise not trying to go cold turkey and just stop all together. I would try and make the cuts smaller and thinner and do it less often if possible. Make sure you are using a steralised blade too, I got quite a few infections and they weren't safe or pleasant! I have done what i mentioned above (not try and struggle to just stop, but get smaller and thinner) and now I look back on some of my scars and wonder how on earth i could have done it that deep. I really hope you can cut down or even better stop before your life is ruled by your scars. I can assure you, that the sooner you stop, the better your self esteem will get. Not to mention that fact that you'd know that you got over self harming! I think you were very brave going to a councilor and also for writing on this message board. Perhaps, you could sit your parents down and not necessarily tell them about the self harming at first, but just about having low self esteem. They should be able to help with that for sure. Then see how you feel and telling them the rest. And finally, I think you should sit your friend down and explain to her that telling your parents, and not allowing you to tell them when you are ready will do more harm than good. A parent finding out from someone else may feel deceived, and even more guilty that you felt you could not go to them. From what you are saying, i doubt she is a self harmer. If she was she would understand its not as simple as just stopping. I found that i slowly just stopped thinking about it. You can't stop if you're still wanting to do it. You will stop when you are ready. Her heart is clearly in the right place and it is because she cares, ( i went through exactly the same thing with my best friend at 13) but i spoke to her as I've suggested and she begrudgingly agreed to not tell them. The fact you are asking for help is a good sign though. If you want my details to talk further I'll be happy to give them to you. Just let me know somehow. Good luck and I hope this massive essay has helped in some way. I understand that most webpages on self harm, though they are trying to be helpful often aren't, always encouraging you to go to your GP or your parents...If you could have done that, you wouldn't have started in the first place!? I know that my advice hasn't been that helpful, but I've been honest :) personally, I think you are perfectly capable of telling them and getting through the hard times. Good luck. I hope you feel better soon. :)

    That's awesome. I'm so happy for you! I have made up my own diet, lowering my carb intake too, though not cutting them our completely, and it's working too. Lost four and a half pounds in two weeks. Have to be fairly loose with my limits though, as I won't be able to stick to the diet otherwise -.- Loosing weight should help your chances in conceiving btw. Both normally and with the PCOS. I heard of some woman, who stopped having any symptoms of PCOS after cutting down carbs and loosing weight, so there's definitely hope for us all.

    PLEASE HELP ME! Okay so i have cutting scars on my legs and theyre from about 2 years ago, i dont cut anymore btw. so all i have left are the scars and they are really stuborn and nothing will get rid of them, not even bio oil and i used it for a complete year with lots of bottles. i also have scars from things like insects on my legs that have been there seen i was little. is there ANYTHING that is affordable for a 16 year old girl because i cant even wear pants because of the brown spots, cutting scars, burns and normal scars on my legs and i want to be a model !!!





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    basically no there isnt. a scar forms where new tissue grows over a wound, if its deep its likely the scar will be keloid - this also happens more on black skin because the skin is thicker. on white skin the scars are more noticeable. you can have surgery to correct it but you'll still be left with - an admittedly smaller - scar. the NHS are unlikely to fund this though so you'd have to come up with the money yourself. if you cant afford that then you can buy makeup specifically meant for hiding medical scars (burns/cuts/tattoos etc) its thicker than normal foundation and is waterproof so that might be an option - sometimes you can get nhs funding for this but it very much depends on where you are.

    my scars have faded nicely over 10 year period, i stopped cutting and seemed to end up with more burns, and hitting my head. i've now gone back to cutting, i seem to do it every couple of weeks, i think for me its anger and frustration. The trigger i think was asking for help as i collect stuff. I am covered in scars on my legs and fresh ones. I wish i cud hide them. but there are part of me, i hope that they will remind not to do it again. I started when i was 13 and now it's 20 years later. I am glad it is being brought up with teens, no one new what to do with me. Although i now think that it is semi neglected with people in there 30's. I feel that its still taboo subject and it scares people.





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    I am female, 5ft 5in and was 70kg. If I eat wheat I put on 5 pounds in a week!Try cutting it outfor a few weeks - it took me just three weeks to feel fantastic and lose weight just by cutting it out. After a bit more experimentation i realised it was starch AND wheat which I had an intolerance to so no potato, bread, rice etc. After a bit off it you can reintroduce in small amounts then monitor to see what happens. (I don't believe in giving anything up unless there is an actual allergy). Although I can't eat this stuff often I do occasionally eat it.I now weight 61kg and feel great! All the best with your journey.:-)

    I used to cut my arms and hips every day,then i binged once or twice. I used to even do it in class (cutting not binging)... That was about a year ago,then i stopped it for about 9 months.. All of a sudden, like a slap in the face i started to cry every night for no reasons, and feeling terrible during the day like a bad person and not deserving to live sort of thing and eventully started cutting again (about once every 1-2 months)but instead of my wrist and all up my arms, i now do it on my hips :( I'm not like this all the time, more like every couple of months, i think i've got depression or something. But i'm never going to tell my family.. help me!! (i don't want this to go on tv or viral to).





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    Go to your go they will help you and it will be confedental a good website for selfharm help is recoveryourlife.com pretty pitch depend on this site since I was 12 I'm now 22

    I have had similar dreams. In fact I very nearly went through with a stupid idea of cutting the blood circulation down there with string and then cutting it down to size. A very silly thought I know but I felt so desperate and this was before I knew what I had. When I first noticed it I was about 10 maybe 11 and because I have a phobia of needles I didn't tell anyone. I cried because I thought I had some form of cancer. Nobody knows still and this is seven years later. Just know that you aren't alone - that's the only thing that keeps me from doing something stupid. Just tell youself that although you aren't the same as the majority in society, you aren't completely on your own. I've told nobody I know but just speaking to people who are in the same situation helps a lot. That's the only advice I have.

    Hi, i've been self harming for quite a few years but have only started cutting in the past year or so, and i'm sixteen. I see a counsellor and that helped for a while because i just need to talk about my problems and feelings instead of keeping them to myself, and self harming to get rid of them. Gradually the counselling stopped helping because i don't feel like i can tell her everything because it's too personal. Two of my friends know, and so does my boyfriend, but i don't really feel like i can talk to them about it, because i feel like they think i'm attention seeking or just being stupid. I really don't know what to do, the cutting has gotten worse because other coping methods i use have stopped working too, like excersise and the counselling. Does anyone have any suggestions as to what i could do? Thanks :)





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    Hi, im 18 and have been self harming since i was about 10/11, but Bipolar disorder also runs in my family and i am constantly depressed. i really want help becuase people are telling me im getting worse and need to seek help asap. i am always either completely depressed and cutting or biting or im completely hyper and feel like i could fly, none of my friends really understand what im going through and i would just like to know if anybody else feels the same, and how can i stop feeling like this and stop cutting? ive been offered councilling but never accepted because i cant trust anyone with telling them anything and i dont want to admit that there is something wrong because of the stigma that is attached with mental health. it would be greatly appreciated if someone could comment me back, thanks :-)





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    Hi , God i can completely relate to how you feel, I didn't have bipolar, but i did have severe depression. I too wanted to stop harming. For me it got to a point were i had had enough and realised that in order to stop i had to work out why i harmed in the first place, though this was done through the help of a community psych nurse. Its hard, stigma is , i didn't tell my college about my issues due to the stignma and i didn't trust them. When i am down i have found been active really helps :) Hope that helps .

    It's more than likely that you're not lazy, the sugar is causing the tiredness. I know it's easy to say, but you need to stop the sugar. You need to treat it like a heroin addiction. More will make you want more. When I gave up sugar, I actually had hallucinations. That's how bad my addiction was. And it was like waking up from being drugged. It's obvious sugar is not giving you energy, so I suspect it's the culprit. Can you try actually going cold turkey? Or else measuring EXACTLY how much sugar you are consuming and then systematically cutting down? It's hard, because it's like an alcoholic cutting down on drink - with half a glass, you feel more impetus to drink, not less. Good luck - I suggest looking on line for forums who talk about PCOS, there is help out there.

    I'm 14 and I've been cutting for about 2 years now and I have mild depression. I only cut when I feel worthless and feel like I and a disgrace to the world or somethin really depressing comes up in my life. I have some scars and I really don't care if people see them! That is my personal business and I can care less about what other people think of me. if someone wants to judge u on ur past tell them to back off becuz I bet they can't handle half of the stuff u go through on a daily basis! But I wanted to share my story thing. So yea I've been cutting for Bout 2 years Nd it's not like it's constantly. I have cuts on my now and I have scars. But please if u have depression and self harm I recommend u get help right away because it sucks feeling like u need to die. So pleas estat strong and get help. :)





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    try using any moisturiser because it can help you a lot xx stay strong and if it disnt work im sorry it worked for me and I still do it ! be the true beauty even if you feel like the beast

    im 18 and ive been self harming for about 4 years but only cutting for about 8 months of those. i have tons of scars already. theyre all over my arms and because im running out of room ive started on my legs too..i was abused by various people throughout my childhood and even now i cant talk about some of it. i have had no help what-so-ever from my GP surgery. i have had to fight for all of the help i have managed to get and none of it has actually come from my doctors. unfortunatly i havent been able to give up cutting and actually feel like i have developed an ED too..so much fun..not. i have just started using lemon juice on my scars and after not seeing the nurse for bout 5 days she said she noticed a difference on my scars even without me mentioning it. so TAKE NOTE!! looks like a simple bit of fruit juice might just make a difference on making your red scars less noticeable. i hope someday i will manage to beat all of this..





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    I have been to the GUM clinic (after i had messed with a needle) and they said it wasnt a wart or couldn't have been... I then got extremely paranoid one night and ended up cutting my skin with scissors... I have since been to 2 more GUM appointments where they told me they cant see anything wrong, but i fear this is because i have taken away the "evidence" along with cutting anything else i was worried about. Every day for 5 weeks iv been worried and keep checking myself constantly!!! I have been prescribed anti anxiety medication (fluoxetine) although i refuse to take this because it makes you feel worse for the first 5-6 weeks and also cannot drink alcohol so i will look suspicious when out socially. My Dad is being really supportive but its breaking his heart to see me crumbling like this, he keeps reminding me how many specialists have told me that im ok! The girl i am in love with is now my girlfriend and have finally found happiness and want to make this girl my life, it would kill me to hurt her or put her through this. She is a virgin.

    Ive found recently after writing a comment a few weeks ago that by cutting out wheat from my diet it has made a massive improvement. I feel so much healthier & have lost quite alot of weight :) I also drink lots of green tea. I also have found that the more i get stressed out the worse my symptons are so i have started to try & keep my stress levels down by taking time to relax each day. Im not saying cutting out wheat will help everyone but it may help to control your symptons. I know its helped me because i can finally go out without worrying where the nearest toilet is. I now have my social life back and feel alot happyier in myself. I hope this may help people out there that it can get better and that there are lots of people all suffering in silence as most of the doctors i have seen have been preety useless. good luck everyone





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